ArghhH!!! The worst 2ww EVA!!!

Yep. This has got to be the worst one to date. Here it is 2dpIUI and I'm already wanting to go pee on a stick. Which I know would be BADDDDD!! Since I got the shot it would more than likely show a false positive...sigh. I have told myself I can start testing 10 days after the injection. Hopefully it will show a negative then (so I know the shot is out of my system) and then if I do get a positive then I know it is for real. So testing day is March 29th. Ugh. That seems soooo far away. 6 more days. I can do this. lol.

IUI Part 2

So I went on March 18th for more bloodwork. I wasn't ovulating yet so they told me to give myself the Ovidrel shot Saturday night and be ready on Monday morning. Well of course Matt and I are big sissies and couldn't do it so my friend Amelia came over and gave me the shot. I <3 her!!!

Matt went in at 7 am and did his business. And then I went in at 1. It didn't hurt at all and it was kind of cool being ablt to see it on the ultrasound. I stayed on the table for about 5 minutes and then left to go home. It was a pretty rough night. Emotionally and physically. I had spotting and cramping. Nothing horrible and I probably made it worse in my head. Emotionally...I just felt like a failure. Like I couldn't even get pregnant like you are "suppose" to. I'm on the verge of crying even now as I type. I'm depressed when I should be happy. *sigh*  There is just so much going on right now. And all of it added to the fact that I can't be on my medicine ..ugh. I need a vacation. If I start AF in two weeks I am packing up and hitting the beach and drowning my sorrows in the biggest case of beer I can find. Not to mention that this is it for us. I'm not going to keep trying. I'm done after this.

Anyways, enough of my pity party. Hopefully I will chipper up in a couple days.

Our IUI Journey Part 1

So most of my readers know the entire story of our infertility issues. Long story short- we have issues. Lol.

Today I took the first step in the IUI process.

I went to see Dr. Harper at the fertility clinic. They did an ultrasound. Nothing like checking out your uterus and ovaries up close before 8 am!!! The follicles looked good on my left ovary. Uterus lining was "thin"----> no clue of that is good or bad. On my right ovary I had a "leftover follicle" The nurse asked if I had taken a pregnancy test. "Um...yeah.....5 a month for the past 2 years. Why do you ask? Lol. Of course being on CD 3 already she figured it would move its way on out eventually but the blood sample they took will tell them if it is still "hormonal" Again....no clue about all that...all I know is that she said if it WAS still hormonal we would NOT be able to move on. Boo!! I'm suppose to hear back today on the blood work.

I also got a prescription for chlomid. I had to ask her if she realized that our "issue" was not on my end....I don't want to end up with triplets!!!! She said yes and that it would help. Ok.....if I end up with 3 she is totally taking one of them!!!

So now I'm just waiting....which I'm use to by now.

We suck

Well..we sort of got behind on bills. Well not behind really..everything is paid in the month it is suppose to be paid but not always by the day it is suppose to be. Lol. It could be worse but I REALLY wanted to work on getting these stupid car loans paid off!! So as of right now

Matt's truck balance

Was (last month): $15, 601. 17

New Balance: $15,252.00 

Guess I should be happy that it went down at all! lol

And my car:

 

I <3 my car! lol

Was last month: $10,431.74

New Balance: $10,218.29

Like I said before...at least they are going down...slowly..

ugh

I guess I should update. The bitch showed. I'm drunk. But it is ok. Because I'm not pregnant. I guess it's ok. *sigh*

I was mistaken...

AF was suppose to show her ugly face on Friday...not Sunday. And guess what...she isn't here. I know I shouldn't get my hopes up but I can't help it. And of course now I am thinking about all the "symptoms" I've had a headache for like 3 days, everytime I try to drink I end up sick as a dog (I know I shouldn't drink while TTC'ing but after 2 years of negatives you tend to say F it- especially since you were wasted when you got pregnant with your first!! ) and a few other things. I tested yesterday but forgot about it and ran out for several hours before checking it...so it technically doesn't count.

I swear I see something but then again it was way after the time frame. I'm going out to get another one today. Lots of prayers and baby dust please!!!

SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY!!

(Said in my best wrestling announcer voice)

This sunday the evil witch is due. That's right...AF.

Do I think I'm pregnant......nope.

Do I have any hope that I will get a BFP.....nope.

Will I proceed to rip apart the test and stare at it until I swear there is a line....yep. 

Will I buy a 6 (possibly 12) pack of Bud Light Sunday afternoon.....yep.

Will I drink said Bud Light.....yep.

Will I tell hubby that "I'm done" & "get a vasectomy" ....Yep.

Will I mean any of it.....nope.

Will I cry....nope...Oh who am I kidding...I will cry like, well, like a little baby.

Sunday Sunday Sunday